ugly people sure do ruin things
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
