I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
