i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
