no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
