I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
