I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
