okay pat passed out under dana's car
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
