Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
