she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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