I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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