Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
