$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
