I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize