yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
