Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
