she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
