Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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