she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
