look no pants
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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