all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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