I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
