Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
