Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
