so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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