Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
