dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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