This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Less talking, more tequila
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
