The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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