dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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