I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
