didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
