I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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