If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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