that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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