We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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