well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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