just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
