you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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