I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My vagina is officially offended.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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