ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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