I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
