let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
