Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
