me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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