You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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