This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
