they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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