$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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