I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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