I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
