i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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